Marie Barone tells Hubby he’s not allowed to move out

Thanks to the power of the pen (or rather my iPhone) and all of you rockstars here at JustNoMIL I realize now I am dealing with a full blown JustNoMIL. Fuuuuuuuuck meeeeeee!!!So a little more background is in order.Back in the day Marie was a single mom raising Hubby. Hubby’s biological father has not been in the picture since he was one years old. Rumor has it bio dad cheated on Marie. I’m not sure what fire and brimstone Marie rained down upon him. I just know he quietly paid his child support and stayed away from them without protest for many years.Eventually Marie started dating her longtime coworker. She married that coworker years later and he legally adopted Hubby. That’s FIL. Shortly after Hubby’s adoption BIL was born. There is a ten year age gap between Hubby and BIL.Marie always view Hubby as some kind of secondary or “assistant” husband. If FIL couldn’t spend a lot of time with Marie because of work then it was Hubby’s responsibility to be there for her. That responsibility lessened for the years Hubby was at college and the few years after that when he was a teacher halfway across the state.But then Hubby couldn’t afford his student loans and pay rent for his cheap studio apartment. So he left his teaching position and moved back in with Marie and FIL and substitute taught for five years. For those five years Hubby would teach, buy the groceries, vacuum the house, wash and put away all the dishes, mow the yard, make the coffee every morning, and various other chores. Which isn’t crazy ridiculous and Hubby was happy to do those things. What was weird was it was always Hubby’s responsibility to make sure Marie got up and got to her part time job in time. He was literally her alarm clock.Hubby tried to find teaching jobs for years before we met. Marie didn’t like Hubby applying for any teaching jobs further than 45 minutes away home. Which is an incredibly small pool of potential jobs for Hubby’s certifications. One year Hubby did get lucky and made it to the final round of interviews, but ultimately didn’t get the job.When we got engaged we decided it would be best for our new family for us to live close to my family and hometown. I work in the family business and stand to inherit the whole thing one day. Obviously it would be much more lucrative in the long run for us to live and work where I lived than for Hubby to finally send resumes far and wide and find his dream teaching job. Hubby was at peace with that and prepared his resume to start job searching near me.Marie, on the other hand, was not happy with our plan.She insisted to Hubby that he should find a job close to her. She insisted it would be best for the next 8-10 months so that he could save money. She said she didn’t want me to know that Hubby was broke.Please Marie. I’m an accountant. Hubby substitute taught. I already knew he was broke.Marie rode Hubby’s back like a pony telling him he can’t find a job and move to be with me yet. She told him he wasn’t ready to move out. Did he remember the last time he tried to live on his own? He failed and had to move back in with her. He couldn’t move to GirlwiththeGolfclub’s town yet because he was doomed to fail.It was to the point Hubby was afraid to leave the house to buy printer ink to print resumes because it would make Marie angry. Marie was threatening to quit her job so she could stay home and make sure he didn’t apply for jobs outside of the county.Ho. Lee. Shiiiiit I forgot how crazy she got back then.Hubby called me and told me he felt he needed to abandon his job search near me for now. We were 11 months away from our wedding. I needed him here with me.I didn’t realize what I was dealing with Marie wasn’t normal, but I knew it wasn’t right.I started bawling on the phone as it dawned on me that Hubby was choosing her over me. Hubby tried to calm me down and tell me it would be alright. I told him it wasn’t alright because he was choosing to make his mom happy over starting a family with me like he had asked me when he proposed only two weeks beforehand. I told him I had to get back to work and I hung up on him.That was the first time since I first laid eyes on him three years earlier that I thought I might not be with him forever.Ten minutes later Hubby called and told me there were four jobs he saw posted online near me and he was coming the next day to apply for them.God bless Hubby.That night Hubby emailed me (because the walls of his parent’s house were thin and Marie was known to listen at Hubby’s bedroom door when he was on the phone with me) that he had worked out a deal with Marie that she would allow him to job hunt near me as long as he found affordable housing with someone in my family or a roommate and he must continue to attend their church until we are married. That would have been a semi-reasonable request if Hubby was 19. But Hubby was 30 years old when this happened.Well that’s enough reminiscing about old times for one day. via /r/JUSTNOMIL

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